


Best mistake

by Sylencia



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 15:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13999107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylencia/pseuds/Sylencia
Summary: I only wanted to see the pictures and leave. Of course that plan was meant to go wrong.





	Best mistake

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted on tumblr by Helpmeimastupidprincess from the prompt list "One Hundred Ways to Say ‘I Love You’"
> 
> So, this is my very first Original story on Ao3 but I can say that these characters were my very first ones as well. Created a long time ago, back in .. 2005 I think. Feeling self-conscious to write it and post it but this is for my best friend and she read it already and said it was great.
> 
> Hope you'll like it.

The manor hasn’t changed at all. Rising high in the sky behind iron gates, menacing, looming over the passersby. Ever since I was a kid, I heard so many rumors about that place, people saying it was haunted. Children and grown-ups the same. But I know better. For I’ve seen what these doors hide, I’ve seen the beauty of the place and tonight, I will have that occasion again.

Florian’s pictures always were .. intriguing to me, to say the least. Dark, sometimes. Oh, he had his goth phase. Not that it’s entirely over still, that’s quite obvious. But there’s hope, now, in his shots. Something that wasn’t there before. And it brought him the fame he always deserved. He’s renowned, now. Like he never was before. Renowned and recognized and all the biggest magazines praise his work.

Tonight is special. Instead of exposing his work in one of the city’s famous galleries, Flo opened the gates of his manor and anyone’s welcome to come for the next four days. Which could turn wrong, of course, that’s why there are guards at the door, scanning people, making sure the place won’t be too crowded and I’m a little nervous when I reach them but they let me in without a second look.

The manor is beautiful. Contrary to its intimidating outside, the inside is warm, comfortable and cozy, despite the dark colors all around. Goth, of course, it still has such a strong image but it’s … enjoyable. It is. I love it tonight, just as much as I did the first time I came and before I go for the shots, I look around, at the high ceilings, at the expensive furniture, and hardwood flooring that creaks under the steps of the many “guests”.

Some of these people probably are guests. People from magazines, journalists that came for the exhibit, to write new papers about the man and his art but I am only a civilian in the middle of them, like many others around me. I am but curious to see his new photographs, to see what he came up with, this time. Sometimes, it feels like he wants to show parts of his soul through his shots, sometimes, they are less personal, more abstract.

These shots are the ones that make people think that Flo is some arrogant bastard, that he doesn’t deserve the fame and the recognition he earned so damn hard. Because as much as he’s loved, as people praise his work, others will always state it’s nonsense, that he doesn’t have half the talent people give him credit for and that he should be forgotten.

As I stop in front of the very first photograph, I know they’re wrong.

Flo likes women. That isn’t a secret. Well, more precisely, he likes women as models. He likes them dearly and most of his pictures are pictures of women. He also likes black and white pictures and almost all of his shots have no color at all. I remember him saying that colors can ruin a good shot and at the moment, I can only agree with him.

Curves. A woman’s body curves but not the perfect, photoshopped curves of a model. The curves of a real woman, that has thick thighs and large hips and a roundish belly. She’s lying on her side, in a simple position and the light does all the work. As well as the look in her eyes. She’s happy. Powerful. She’s gorgeous, I can’t help thinking as I look at the shot and I wonder, for a moment, what she thought when he took the shot. Did he encourage her ? Did he tell her to do anything ? Was it her first time ? Is she a professional model ? So many questions, never to be answered. Flo doesn’t answer this kind of questions. The only thing one can know is the model’s name, as it’s always the shot’s name.

This one is “Sasha”. I like Sasha.

Moving from one shot to the other takes my breath away, as always. As I’ve been following Flo’s work for years now, from the very beginning, I know where he comes from, I know what he did, how his art evolved and I can see so much more than what the image shows. For example, “Isabella” isn’t only “Isabella". She’s also a reproduction of one of his old pictures in better quality. Same pose but different model. Better camera, better lighting, better everything. And yet, I liked that shot from his beginnings as well. But his art evolved, of course. His technique as well. It shows.

Champagne is offered to me when I reach the end of the portraits. A simple glass as well as some canape and I don’t resist long before I sit down in one of the chairs. This is the living room, after all and people made themselves comfortable all around the place, in order to talk about the exhibit. It must be allowed, I think as I’m looking out via the near window. From here, I can’t see much, it’s dark outside already but last time I came, I saw the beauty of the gardens. For Flo might not be that good with plants and such but his best friend is. Very good even. The roses, in particular, are beautiful.

“As I was saying, some of these are vulgar, dear,” the nearby man was saying to his wife and I couldn’t help glancing at them. “Why must they be naked ? And no one wants to see fat women on pictures.”

The wife doesn’t seem to like the comment. She’s not that thin after all. I look away before they catch me staring but I can hear her huff, she walks away and he runs after all, calling her name. Ah well. I guess he’ll sleep on the couch tonight.

It’s only when I’m done with the champagne that I stand again and pass the panels. The living room/dinner room has been divided in two different parts with big wooden panels on which the pictures are hung. And the other side of them gives us one very different view of Flo’s art. For as much as he likes women, he likes men. He likes them a lot and he likes to take pictures of them.

Truly, Flo likes people. But only from the other side of his camera.

I enjoy these pictures as well, of course. How wouldn’t I ? For I know where Flo comes from with his art, I can enjoy it a lot more, unlike some journalists. I remember Flo’s very first blog, when he’d add a little text to his pictures, to describe emotions and what he wanted to show, I remember how insecure he had felt about them, how much he had wanted for people to understand what he meant with the shots so badly. I remember how he struggled, when he couldn’t get the perfect shot. How he would be pissed for so much time, annoyed with it all, threatening to give it all up.

I remember it all so clearly.

Now isn’t time to dwell on memories though. I’m not here for this. Only to enjoy the exhibit, to see a new part of Flo’s soul, at least for a moment. There isn’t much more I can do, after all.

The exhibit continues in one part of the gardens and I follow the trails of lanterns to the terrace. Some of the shots exposed here are more ancient. Those people don’t want to see, those they don’t want to remember. Because they’re bothering them, because they’re too raw but I do enjoy them. Even if I already know them by heart.

That is until I stumble on one of the pictures and I can’t move anymore. How could I ? “Alice" it is called. And I know that one so well.

I don’t know how much time passes. A second or an eternity. Probably both, as time is relative and I forget about the rest of the world, I forget about it all, too stunned. Why would he print this one picture ? It’s one of the older ones. One of the first. One of the worst, maybe, I can attest that quite frankly. For I’ve loved his art for so long and I know when one of his pictures isn’t good. And this one isn’t. Because it’s different from the others. It’s not a model, it was not taken in his studio or with his instructions. It was taken one morning, and everything changed, after that.

“Hello Alice.”

That voice, that tone sends shivers up my spine and I close my eyes for a moment. I knew I shouldn’t have come, I knew it but I did anyways and here I am now. Of course, one of them would see me. Of course. But for Joey to be the one to come greet me ? That’s the irony of the situation.

But Joey is smiling, when I look at him and he has changed a lot. I wouldn’t have recognized him, wasn’t it for his voice. He now has shorter hair and he dropped the goth look at well. Still gorgeous, though. Still oh so beautiful and he knows it. Of course he does. He used to be one of Flo’s favorite models, after all. One of his lovers as well. And Flo always had the most refined tastes.

“Hello Joey,” I answer after a short hesitation. I don’t like it but at least, I don’t have to look at the picture anymore. I can look at him. Not that I do enjoy looking at him either but oh well.

“It’s been a while,” Joey hums, glancing at the picture. I try not to huff.

“Ten years, yes,” I breath out and I cross my arms. Ten years since I last came here and I can’t help feeling a bit too comfortable. I know that place very well, after all. I’ve lived here for a year. So long ago.

“Does he know ?” Joey asks after a moment, he steps closer as if to hide me from someone’s sight. For Joey might be Joey but he’s .. protective. He shields me. He knows me. Even if I don’t know who he’s trying to hide me from. I didn’t see any known face yet. Except him, of course.

“No,” I state with a shrug. “I only wanted to come see the pictures.”

There’s a silence. Joey only stands by my side and despite everything, his presence doesn’t bother me too much. It’s familiar, if anything. He used to be my friend after all. So long ago. Ten years ago, before everything ended.

But I don’t want to be involved in this anymore. I don’t want to be part of them anymore and I hope he won’t try convincing me to .. I don’t even know what he’d want. I don’t and it’s a scary thought. Then again, I could have not come, it would have been easier, it would have avoided all the possible drama. But Flo’s art .. who can resist Flo’s art ? I could never do so.

“It was always his favorite.”

I look at the picture again but I know Joey’s right. Flo always said so. Because it was the only picture he took that felt natural to him, because it was the only picture he took that wasn’t a fraud, as he liked to say and … and my throat tightens at the memories. Memories of that morning, when I woke up in Flo’s bed and he was so excited to show me that picture of me, sleeping on my side, naked and my back to him. It was simple, it truly was but Flo liked it. And when Flo likes something, he does it entirely.

I learned it the harsh way.

“He’ll soon come downstairs, if you want to disappear beforehand,” Joey then informs me, he squeezes my arm gently and the warmth of his fingers sends shivers up my spine. “Brian’s trying to convince him.”

“Brian’s here ?” I ask, with a soft smile and Joey’s own widens.

“Yes.”

For he knows how much I always loved Brian,Flo’s big brother. He knows how close we used to be. How he stayed in touch with me afterwards, even if for a moment. Not for long. Because Brian’s stubborn and couldn’t stop trying convincing me to come back. But I couldn’t. Not after this.

“He’d be happy to see you, though,” Joey then says and I know we’re not talking about Brian anymore. He’s talking about Flo and I wish it didn’t hurt as much as does but I can’t help the feelings, can I ? Even after all this time. I tried getting over it, I tried .. moving on, but no one can truly move on from Flo. That’s his power. I did try fooling myself, so many times, I did burn my wings because I was so blind but. It doesn’t mean I’m ready to give in anymore.

Ten years happened, after all. I changed. Flo did as well. Why would it ever work anyways ?

“You broke his heart when you left.”

I snort, this time. Hard. Because Joey speaking of this is the most ironic thing ever, because who the hell does he think he is now ?

“He cheated on me with you,” I remind him with a sidelong glance. “He should have known I wouldn’t be happy.”

“He was an idiot,” Joey shrugs, he smiles. “I was too. But you know how he was ..”

I roll my eyes, I stare at him but his smile doesn’t change. Because I know yes. And I knew before I said yes to Flo’s dates, I knew everything. How Flo’s best friend also was his lover. I knew about Flo’s idea of fidelity. Loyal to the fault, that, no one could take it away from him. But he never believed in exclusive relationships and I knew right from the beginning. And I accepted it. But to catch them having sex in our bed had been too much for me. I did try again, I did try to stay and not feel bad because I knew Flo slept with other people during our relationship, I was aware of it and I agreed with it but actually seeing it ? I couldn’t. So, one day, I took my stuff and left. It had been eating me alive for days. It was the most painful experience in my life, to leave Flo. Because he was my soulmate, that always was obvious. But it was too much for me to forgive him.

“Don’t think I’m trying to convince you to ..” Joey trails and he addresses me his infamous crooked smile. “But when Flo loves …”

“He does it entirely,” I finish, a bittersweet taste on the tongue and I close my eyes when Joey steps closer, leaning to my ear.

“Ah well …” he smiles, kissing the side of my head, the way he used to, so long ago, when we hung out together, when we were friends. “This hasn’t changed, you know.”

“Don’t,” I warn him, I frown at him. “Don’t you dare.”

He blinks but says nothing more, even if I can see how much he wants it, I shivers when his hand caresses my hair and he eventually lowers his head, his now short bangs hiding his expression.

“I understand,” he whispers and he hums, moving away, shifting to the side so he’s not in my personal space anymore. “I apologize though. For what I did.”

I don’t answer, a little shaken with the conversation now. Because I don’t want to think about this all. I only came to look at the pictures, I didn’t come for all the drama. I’m done with it, I’m done with them all.

“Hey babe, you introduce us ?”

The sudden unknown voice startles me, I step away from Joey even more, not knowing what’s going on and I can’t help frowning, seeing Joey grab the stranger’s hand, in a very possessive way, how he looks at him lovingly, a soft smile on the lips.

“This is .. an old friend of mine,” Joey whispers and I notice the way he avoids saying my name. “That I haven’t seen in a very long time.”

“I see,” the man smiles and he extends his hand to me. “I’m Luke, Joey’s husband.”

Now that’s a surprising announcement. Joey ? Married ? Things did change a lot, didn’t they ? And only now do I notice the silver ring at my former friend’s hand, matching the man’s, I can’t help smiling. He ? The “I’m a free man, I don’t need marriage” extremist ? Married ? I’d tease him, if I could but it wouldn’t do good to do so in front of his husband. These two do go well together though and I eventually shake the man’s hand.

“Nice to meet you,” I smile at him, keeping my name myself. I can’t help feeling like he knows about it all, that Joey told him all about Flo and maybe me. I don’t want the drama. But Luke doesn’t seem to care, wrapping an arm around Joey’s waist and kissing his cheek.

“Flo’s coming downstairs,” he announced, his attention completely focused on his husband now, while Joey’s dark eyes stay on me, a knowing smile on the lips. “Brian asked for you to be around, just in case.”

“I’ll be right here,” Joey answers his husband, he shoots him a soft glance. “Give me a minute to say goodbye ?”

“Sure babe,” Luke nods and he pecks at his lover’s lips before he smiles up at me. “It was nice meeting you.”

He lingers a bit, it looks like he has a hard time letting go of his husband but he eventually leaves and I can’t help my smirk when Joey looks at me again. He knows what I’m thinking about, of course he knows. I don’t need to voice my thoughts.

“Oh shut up,” he chuckled nervously. “Just ..” he waved his hands around, flailing with a blush, he groans. “I gotta go. You know how uncomfortable Flo can be with crowds.”

“I know,” I smile at him, focusing on the picture again. “Go. I’ll be leaving soon.”

Joey hesitates, he pulls a piece of paper from his back pocket, as well as a pen. “Here,” he smiles, writing down his number and giving it to me. “Give me a call someday, Alice. I .. I’d like to stay in touch. I’ve missed you.”

I accept the number, saying nothing. Not because I’m angry at him still, it’s been ten years after all but .. I don’t know what to think of it. I don’t want to be part of their drama anymore. I don’t. But Joey was a friend after all, wasn’t he ? A friend that I loved dearly back then, even before I started dating Flo. It doesn’t mean I’ll ever call him, or not anytime soon anyways. I have to think about it. If it’s worth it at all.

Soon, I’m on my own again and the people that were in the gardens start to go back inside again, to welcome Flo. I don’t. I’ll be leaving soon, after all. I don’t need to go back inside for this anyways, there’s a backdoor in the gardens that probably isn’t locked. Flo never locked it before. There was no reason for him to lock it, or so he always said.

The clapping catch my attention though. I can see inside the manor through the window, even from the terrace and I catch sight of Flo.

He hasn’t changed a bit. Well, he did, of course, he’s ten years older, he grew out of his goth phase but some things never change. He still keeps his hair long enough to reach his butt but instead of keeping it wild like he used to, it’s perfectly brushed, his bangs pulled back into a small bun and it gives his face so much light. It brings his green eyes out and my heart flutter when I see them shine under the lights, as they flicker from one person to the other, a weirded out smile on the lips as crowds never were his thing. There aren’t many people, of course, the manor is only that big but. It’s enough. I know. Flo hasn’t grown out of his agoraphobia and it shows.

But here he is and he still is so beautiful. Gone is his former style, tonight he wears a proper shirt, with dress pants and it suits him so much. He looks gorgeous, more than he ever did before and I can’t stop staring. I could never get over his beauty, after all. I never deserved such a handsome man. But he did love me. Entirely.

I didn’t think it’d hurt to see him again. Maybe I’m not over him as much as I thought I was. Who am I kidding anyways ? No one can ever move on from Flo and I learn it the harsh way tonight.

It’s only when I see Joey appear next to Flo that I realize that I have made a mistake. That I should have left as soon as Joey was gone. Because as sweet the man can be, he’s always loyal to his best friend and soon, Flo tenses, his expression freezes and his eyes shift to the windows. Until he sees me, until he looks at me in the eyes and I know the surrounding darkness doesn’t hide me well. He knows me, he knows me perfectly and before he can do anything, I look away, I make sure to disappear from his field of sight. Running away, maybe but .. being here already is difficult enough. How can I ever face him again ? I only came for the pictures.

The gardens are dark, of course but I easily find my way through it, to the backdoor and I reached for the handle when I hear steps muffled with the grass.

“Alice !” Flo calls for my name, almost desperately and my throat tighten at the sound of his voice. “Alice, please !”

I grab the handle, I turn it but the door doesn’t bulge. It’s locked. I’m trapped between the wall and Flo.

“Please,” he says again, he’s close now and I can feel his presence so distinctly behind me, shivers running all over my body. “Please.”

“He really can’t keep his mouth shut, can he ?” I snort, making a mental note to maybe slap Joey, next time I’ll see him.

“Of course not,” Flo says and he’s smiling this time. “Will you turn around ?”

I shake my head, I can’t face him. He doesn’t force me, he doesn’t take my arm to make me. Violence never was part of him anyways, unless one asked for it. Flo is pure. He is.

“I only came for the pictures,” I tell him, but I know I can’t convince him. How would I ? I’m not entirely convinced myself either and I’ve been repeating so to myself ever since I decided to come. But I know that catching sight of Flo on flesh and blood was my true goal. See him again after ten years away from the city. Boy, what a mistake I made.

“Did you like them ?” He asks and I shrug.

“Yes. Except one.”

“It’s my favorite,” he states and I roll my eyes, thankful he can’t see. He would have argued if he did. I’m not in the mood for this tonight. I’m already feeling exhausted from the evening and I haven’t been there for that much time yet. But I’m drained.

“I know.”

There’s a silence and I wished I could face him now. To see his expression, to guess what he’s thinking about, to try and make out his next words but I can’t. Facing him feels too much for now, it feels … wrong, in a way. And for a moment, I wonder why he locked the backdoor but .. it’s not important, is it ? No, what’s important now is for me to find a way to leave and yet, my feet won’t move, my heart beating hard in my chest and I don’t know what to do, what to say. I don’t know anything at all and it’s overwhelming.

“I ..” Flo starts and he sighs. “I’ve missed you. A lot.”

I don’t answer, too focused on keeping my emotions at bay.

“I was stupid to think you wouldn’t say anything,” he continued and I startle when he touches my shoulder. I shiver hard at the sensation of his fingers upon my skin, as I am wearing a tank top, the evening is a warm one after all. I shiver as his index traced the side of my neck and I close my eyes, paralyzed under his touch, longing for more, craving for his presence. Ten years and nothing has changed. I’m still so very much under his spell, despite how I wished I could have broken it so many times.

“Stupid to think I could have it all,” he adds after a moment. “I’m sorry I hurt you so much Alice. I was but a spoiled kid, with too much money and a distinct lack of boundaries.”

“Your adoptive parents rose you the best they could,” I answer and it’s the truth. They did their best with Flo and Brian. And it wasn’t easy, considering how they lost their parents during their teenage years. I know it wasn’t. I saw Flo fall down low into depression and Brian so lost it paralyzed him. But they seem better, now. Flo, at least, does.

“It doesn’t matter,” Flo states and I feel him shrug. “I wasn’t a kid anymore but I acted like one.”

I can’t argue with him. Because he did act like a spoiled kid, sometimes. He inherited half his parents’ money when they disappeared and Brian the other half. I know well how much that was. I knew their parents after all. I went to their funeral when their body were found in the sea and I was by Flo’s side, of course.

I always was there, when he needed me. Always.

After a while, he steps closer. His free arm wraps around my shoulders, his forehead resting against the back of my head and he breathes out.

“Stay over,” he whispers and my first instinct is to tell him no. Because I don’t want to get involved in this drama anymore, I don’t want to be part of this group of friends. They all were my best friends, since high school. Flo, Brian, Joey. Then, things changed with Flo and well. I know how it ended and even now, it hurts still so much. More than I imagined it would. Then again .. how can I ever resist Flo ?

I nod and relief rushes all over me. As if knowing I’ll be close to him again will make me feel … better. Even knowing that I was doing good without him, even knowing that I don’t need him in my life to be fine. But there’s that calmness, inside my heart, as I accept his invitation. The same I felt when he and I became more than friends. The same sort of calmness that I felt during that whole year living with him in the manor, after three years of dating. And I don’t care, if part of me yells that I’m being weak. I don’t.

All I want now, as I taste his presence again, is to remain in his arms forever.


End file.
